its-me-the-sad-one:

tacobelltylerr:

themightyrancho:

heartofthecoolkids:

I cant rn….

NEW YORK

BABY….

BOOOOOOOOOI.

Did Elmo just hit that Whip

DID ELMO JUST HIT THAT WHIP

*stumbles into brother’s room at 3 am* Y-You gotta see this

(via floralpoetrybro)

mens-rights-activia:

welcometomomuniverse:

An underrated joke in Into the Spider-verse is when Miles tells Peter the head scientist is a woman and Peter goes, “Cool. Step 3: Reexamine my personal biases.” 

(via nagi-chan-san)

sonic06apologist:

(via nagi-chan-san)

fallintolife:

fallintolife:

fallintolife:

fallintolife:

fallintolife:

I feel like my roommates are probably aliens and I’m teaching them how humans eat with my grocery choices

when I first moved in the fridge had like… water in it. and some mustard. definitely people things but ???

and then I bought a bigass jar of peanut butter and two days later… another jar of peanut butter appears. same size, same brand. uh.

I buy a box of cereal. more cereal appears.

I buy lactaid. silk soymilk appears.

I bought a jar of freakin’ mayo and a different mayo of the same size appeared in the fridge.

one day these aliens are going to find out that I’m allergic to most common foods, and boy are they gonna be mad

“this isn’t how humans eat?? was ours broken????”

(via kezia-kawaii)

watermelinoe:

jackthevulture:

wtfenris:

toboldlylesbian:

waitress assigned kin

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)

(via misscokebottleglasses)